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About Us...And Them
OK, so what the hell is a "Mall Ninja"? So glad
you asked...
Dictionary of definitions that are made up on the spot, 2001-
mallnin·ja (môl nin·ja)
n. pl. mall·ninja or mall·nin·jas
1. A member of a class of highly trained Retail Security agents, who
subscribe to the14th-century Japanese art of Ninjustsu, as well as having
years of experience in modern urban combat strategy, equipment and tactics.
These vigilant agents ceaselessly patrol and defend America's shopping
complexes.
Trust me, he'd rather be working inside the mall in February...
Them...
To elaborate, Mall Ninja are the nation's
most fearless and effective defenders of our most highly vulnerable and
crime-prone locations-our own domestic shopping malls. Behind the scenes, these highly trained
operators use their extraordinarily far-reaching tactical skills, and when
necessary, their high level government connections to ensure absolute safety
for all mall-goers everywhere. If you are within 1000 yards of a mall-any
mall- you can be sure that the Mall Ninjas can spot you.
Screening team in light gear, source unknown, supposed to be South Square
Mall in Durham NC
They
patrol your Mall...
Entry screeners are only one of the many
positions filled by these mall defending operatives, for though cross
training, and maintaining efficacy in all areas of their required skills
is essential among these agents, areas of tactical specialization are recognized, and
agents are most often assigned to a position they can excel at. Sniper
teams, breachers, gasmen, sappers, CQB and entry teams, narcotics
specialists, plainclothes agents (often decoys), custody officers,
reconnaissance scouts, and vehicle crews are all standard behind the scenes
fixtures of any mall defense organization. Each of these operators are
grouped into
teams, usually composed of one or two men from each area of specialization.
Thought now to be the only existing photo of the legendary Mall of America's elite
Food Court Team 6
They Train in Ninjutsu...
Each of these agents, besides whatever
special training they have received in their past career history, varied
though it may be, is required to train in the ancient art of Ninjutsu to
fill out their professional skill sets -thus, a operator may be well versed in both all
that modern military, law enforcement and special operations has to offer in
the way of tactics and training, as well as being fully aware of and
well trained in the most stealthy and deadly of the ancient fighting arts,
ninjutsu. The skills of a true ninja require some modification when used in an
urban environment, as well as the focus of the art itself, assassination-clearly
not the focus of an onsite protective tactical team of Mall Ninja (as they
are more commonly known, by the few powerful men outside their circle).
They
have many other mad skillz and 133t
gear...
Each niche position, be it sniper or decoy
snack vendor has a wealth of training dedicated to that particular skill.
Each of these particular areas of training has a section dedicated to it in
Tactics and Training
(Coming Soon)-as well as an extensive examination of Mall Ninja "Tools
of the Trade".
They occasionally talk too much,
and get noticed...
Several mall ninjas of the many thousands standing
guard have achieved notoriety in their field for their service record of
heroic exploits. Others are well known among the Mall Security community for
their eccentricity, or even for having leaked information about their Mall
Security position. Dossiers on all of these well-known ninjas have been put
together on the
Real Mall Ninjas page, at great risk to life and limb to us here at
coltcco.com/mnarchive...Online activities of Mall Ninja have been recorded in the
Mall Ninjas Speak Out section. The first hint of what Mall Ninjas were
are recorded in
Mall Ninjas Speak Out.
Madcap antics ensue...
Oh, And Us?
MallJinja.com itself is the
culmination of over 4 year's research on the subject of Mall Security,
and the massive shadowy corporation that funds Indoor Retail Security
personnel. Our views on just who is behind this massive organization,
and the subsequent series of cover-ups, payoffs and media blackouts
that keep their organization secret, and out of the spotlight, are
formally organized for online publication here, as well as our findings
on individual operators themselves. We poke around, do the research,
get the info, and share what we can about this most secret of organizations,
and it's members and methods.
We also
collect the Mall Ninja
Fan Art and
Haikus that keep arriving, and have a weekly comic by
Will Pierce, a
gentleman and a scholar. The site is updated twice weekly, Wed and Sat. and
the current influx of new material ensures that there is still plenty to
come here at coltcco.com/mnarchive.
MallNinja.comWebmaster, Editor
and Whipping Boy,
-Juggernaut
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